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Submitted on
January 10, 2009


5,756 (5 today)
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“Wapanese” are decidedly Caucasian individuals who, by means of thoroughly warped postmodern acculturation processes, have come to the conclusion that it is in their best interest to act as if they were denizens of the nation of Japan (please note that the term weeaboo can be substituted). Due to a chemical imbalance in their heads, the Wapanese will denounce their country, stalk Asian girls, eat nothing but Asian food, live in their parents house until they are 30 or older, and generally be annoyances for the rest of their lives or until they snap out of it, which usually happens around the 9th or 10th grade.

The term “Wapanese” is actually derived from the mixing of “white” and “Japanese” but due to the fact that Wapanese are no longer all white, we have adopted the new meaning of “wannabe Japanese”.

Wapanese can be classified by two or more of the following traits:

1. Are obsessed to a mentally unstable level with anything connected with Japan. Wapanese will believe and proclaim that every facet of Japanese culture is superior to all others, particularly American. Whether it is junk food like Pocky, animation, film, economy, work ethic, respect for this and that, Japan will be better in every way. They will continue to believe this to the point that they smother themselves with everything Japanese in order to bury their own origins.

2. Will try to learn Japanese simply from watching anime. They will learn only a small number of  Japanese words and sprinkle them within English sentences, using what is called Japanglish. They are under the false pretense that they know a vast amount of the Japanese language by adding words such as “kawaii” or “baka” into their sentences (cute and fool respectively).

3. Has a superficial, rather unhealthy obsession with shallow, saccharine and intellectually insulting animation shows (referred to commonly as “anime” ), made originally for young Japanese children.

4. Have also unhealthy obsessions with supposedly handsome anime characters that resemble chopsticks painted with faces. They do such in a toxic level that other people who see that they worship some bony fool drawn on paper would vomit to death.

5. Operates under the flawed belief that the American culture is exceptionally inferior to that of Japan’s, even though 99.99% of Wapanese have never had any firsthand experience with their preferred culture (aka, they have never been to Japan itself).

6. Often owns a sword (Katana or other Japanese weapon of course) and claim they have studied the Samurai and Ninja and know how to expertly use their blade. Aside from being wrong, they forget that Ninjas and Samurai probably were in a lot better physical shape than them. Also they believe that merely by watching Naruto, they can become Ninja.

7. Don't realize that the Japanese would find them equally as sad, if not more so, than the Americans do. They are often looked down upon for slaughtering the language and culture.

8. Will proudly refer to themselves as "Otaku". They seem to miss the fact that in Japan being an Otaku means you are a sheltered and pathetic person obsessed with trivial pursuits, and that they need help. I actually don't think the Wapanese could have chosen a more fitting name for themselves.

9. Extreme cases may traipse around whilst wearing a “costume” that makes them resemble their favorite anime characters (this practice is referred to as cosplay; cross-dressing and raging homosexuality is not an uncommon component of cosplay.

10. Enjoy eating Pocky, ramen, and other Asian junk food while shunning all non-Asian foods as they are quite obviously inferior.

11. Love to harp how much better Japanese music is than American music, despite the fact that they listen to J-pop/rock, which has the same amount of substance as American pop, meaning none.

12. Try to dress harajuku/lolita by applying mountains of makeup and mixing up clothes which makes them look like they are in drag or a wannabe emo.

Interestingly enough, Wapanese are generally though of as “failures” and rejects within their own culture. I speculate that it was their failure to gain acceptance within their own culture than has lead many a white geek to seek out Japan’s culture as a surrogate; however, they’d be shattered to know that the insular and somewhat racist Japanese society would be even less accepting of them than the people of their true and native culture.
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Wafflez-of-Equestria Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2014  Student Digital Artist
It's really hard for me to go into a Japanese store and not get confused with a weaboo XD I'll see one thing that I like and usually buy (example: make-able Japanese candy, that stuff is the bomb!) and while making no anime references, butchering language, or even hinting at the word "kawaii" or "sugoi," still get called a weaboo by NON JAPANESE PEOPLE. The Japanese people who work at the store are friends with me and my friends, as we come there all the time for candy and plushies. It can get very annoying. (And I will never pronounce "desu" wrong for as long as I live, even if I don't use the word.)
AsahiGirl Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
enjoy eating Pocky, ramen, and other Asian junk food, but I love non-Asian food like pizza, and bananas.
Kahunathekid Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
if i were to put the words 'kawaii' and 'baka' into a sentence just for the fun of it would that be okay?
animedisneyluver809 Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014
My brother's friend is a weaboo Facepalm 
erikatheraindeer Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013
shallow, saccharine and intellectually challenging? Actually, not all are like that. ANime is actually a rather diverse medium. But other than that, you are right. (Coming from a ligit Japanese)
mechaguy Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is so true.
MonkeyL0L Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2013
Lmao xD
ohhaiderplz Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013
Dreaming-Absolution Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know this article is just for sh*ts and giggles, but I felt the need to say something XD

I'm going to address each number one by one~ okay? Just to keep it organized.

1. I won't argue with this point. At all. (Though, I've always wondered what tatami mats felt like under your feet)
2. I've...never tried this. I have a learned a few words by accident simply by matching commonly said words to the subs, but that's just something that happens. I'm more likely to go off and learn Italian, though, then Japanese. (Though, I am interested in it)
3. Honestly? I don't think most of these are even made for children anymore. Would you let your five year old child watch High School of the Dead? I wouldn't (Of course, I haven't watched it either XD).
4. .____. I...I just have nothing to say. While they are cute(hair style/clothing wise), I know that they aren't real, weren't real, and will never be real. So...-shrugs-
5. Japan has a higher suicide and bullying rate then America. This is one important point that I think everyone should know no matter what. Add to the fact that apparently  most teacher over there make the kids sort it out themselves...Which just makes me go 'really? You're really expecting a bunch of kids to solve their own problems with no guidance?' -shakes head in disappointment- Honestly....
6. Hahahahahah. I'm sorry, I just laughed really hard. I've never seen anyone who has something like that or said anything like that.
7. Well, yeah. I mean, the Japanese have a whole set of words to describe people they think are sick or foolish. -shrugs-
8. 'Otaku' has become a part of American culture under the pretense it means 'Anime Fan.' -shrugs- There's nothing most of us who know the true meaning can do to change that.
9. America has been doing the same thing in their Comicons for years. So it's not just a 'Wapanese' things, it's just that they got the term 'Cosplay' from Japan. Also, Cosplay has become such a common word even the news uses it to describe what people do at Cons, whether they be Anime related or Comic related.
10. I like Pocky and would like to try actually Ramen, like the stuff they actually sell in Japan, not this silly stuff they sell in US grocery stores. And there's plenty of Asian food that just makes me stare and go 'What. What is this I don't even.'
11. I think a lot of J-pop/J-rock is better then MAINSTREAM American Music, like Miley Cyrus. Not that it's better then all American music. I also like K-pop/K-rock, so what do I know?
12. Never had I tried this. I also don't know anyone who has, unless it's for one of those cosplay things. Yeah.

Like I said before, I know this article was for sh*ts and giggles.
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